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Post by Cyrus on Dec 22, 2004 16:16:08 GMT
Yes, they should market that! ;D "Fall asleep on James' chest every night! Only $74.95!"
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Post by Spikefan on Dec 23, 2004 2:44:04 GMT
That is just.....ummm...........although if there was a pillow for sale say with Spike's parts I'd buy it ;D
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Post by Cyrus on Dec 23, 2004 17:05:58 GMT
Hmmm, I'd quite like a Spike Soother, something to suck on while I drift off to sleep... Ditto! I umm was trying to keep it fairly clean... LMAO @ the diary thing. ;D
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Post by Spikefan on Dec 28, 2004 2:46:56 GMT
the diary was hysterical!!!!!! And sadly isn't it the truth!?!
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Post by DeeDee on Dec 30, 2004 18:53:50 GMT
Q: What do you call a man with a Spike on his head A: Ang Oh youve heard it before eh I gotta stop reading Spangel well maybe not
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Post by Spikefan on Jan 3, 2005 22:14:19 GMT
lmao!!!
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Post by nightnurse on Jan 4, 2005 1:11:35 GMT
;D LMFAO Dee Dee !
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Post by Spikefan on Jan 7, 2005 19:58:14 GMT
That's hilarious!!! ;D
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Post by Cyrus on Jan 16, 2005 22:50:08 GMT
A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"
The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over."
The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."
The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance old man. So, just to be fair I will give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third gay rooster I bought this month."
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Post by Cyrus on Jan 18, 2005 4:06:25 GMT
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Post by Ditto on Feb 1, 2005 13:50:15 GMT
That really is a weird clock!
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Post by Pixie on Feb 1, 2005 15:37:31 GMT
Me likey! ;D Just goes to show I'm a total freak, lol!
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Post by Ditto on Feb 2, 2005 11:22:30 GMT
My friend Marie emailed this....
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Post by Pixie on Feb 3, 2005 9:08:27 GMT
*snerk* ;D
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Post by Ditto on Feb 8, 2005 10:02:44 GMT
I love this one.
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Post by nightnurse on Feb 8, 2005 22:07:35 GMT
LOL...good one Ditto ;D
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate. " The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note: "Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part. " The man is really furious now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter: "Dear Sir,Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. Pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a f*cking toffee apple."
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Post by DeeDee on Feb 11, 2005 11:19:22 GMT
lol Ditto and NN ;D
Dont know if this has been in here before
The pull ropes of the bells at the St James Church had been cut and the Rev didnt know what to do, so he advertised for some one to come and help. after a while, he got a reply from a man that said he could help him out.
" how are you going to ring the bells "the Rev said
" well said the man I will show you "
so he went up to where the bells were and started to ring the bells by hitting them with his face, he rung the most beautiful sounds the Rev ever heard "thats wonderful "the rev said "your hired"
Just then the man was so dizzy from the ringing he fell out of the bellfry and sadly fell to his death,
when the police came along they asked the Rev if he knew the man,
"No" the Rev said "But his face rung a bell.
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Post by Cyrus on Feb 21, 2005 20:01:19 GMT
Competition
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'
The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop.
It read... 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
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Post by PokerKitten on Feb 22, 2005 10:15:30 GMT
Elizard posted this on her LJ ;D
Top Ten most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper Is Down................
10. The cucumber has left the salad.
9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson..
6. Elvis is leaving the building.
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see something that rhymes with Venus.
And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped.....
1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts
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Post by Pixie on Feb 22, 2005 11:41:01 GMT
Another one in that vein, which my family uses: Flying low without a licence! ;D
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