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Post by Cyrus on Dec 16, 2003 4:49:45 GMT
First... ew! Second... no, he's married to my ancient stepgrandmother...
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Post by PokerKitten on Dec 16, 2003 9:57:37 GMT
Cy, your little sis is 17, the filthiest minded age of them all (til middle age that is ) and your grandad is probabaly only as old as... *quit it now!* I only know one joke. Michael Stipe told it to me (well, not me personally. He told it on the radio). Q. Why do cannibals not eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.... *throws blanket over head and scuttles off*
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Post by Cyrus on Dec 16, 2003 10:00:54 GMT
*pulls blanket off PK's head* You can't hide! ;D You don't have any more jokes? Aww come on... How about this picture... or this one...
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Post by Incogni2 on Dec 17, 2003 3:29:24 GMT
Oh Cy, those pics....ROFLMFAO!!!!!! Wow! 2 Mega's for $5.88, I could get like 20 and then would def be on my knees
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Post by PokerKitten on Dec 19, 2003 12:34:13 GMT
This site doesn't have jokes, it is just oen hilarious webpage devoted to the things this funny guy and his girlfriend have argued about it and it is absolutely hilarious! I have been laughing so loud at my computer screen I'm surprised I didn't make Benji the Beagle next door bark Check it out - www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com/
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Post by nightnurse on Dec 19, 2003 22:58:47 GMT
;D LMAO....Paul, reading over my shoulder....'Is this a site about you?'
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Post by azazel on Dec 20, 2003 17:04:05 GMT
More intresting than I thought
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Post by PokerKitten on Dec 24, 2003 13:03:57 GMT
This from Az.... I wish my dad was online! The Farenheit Temperature Scale
50 degrees: Southerners turn on their heating. People in Newcastle plant their gardens.
40 degrees: Southerners shiver uncontrollably. People in Newcastle sunbathe.
35 degrees: Southern cars will not start. People in Newcastle drive with the windows down.
20 degrees: Southerners wear coats, gloves and wool hats. People in Newcastle thrown on a T-shirt. (Girls wear mini-skirts).
15 degrees: Southerners begin to evacuate. People in Newcastle go swimming in the North Sea.
Zero drerees: Southern landlords turn up the heat. People in Newcastle have the last barbeque before it gets cold.
Minus 10: Southerners cease to exist. People in Newcastle throw on a lightweight jacket.
Minus 80: Polar bears wonder if it's worth it. Boy scouts in Newcastle start wearing long trousers.
Minus 100: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Newcastle put on [huh, this was missing]
Minus 173: Alcohol freezes. People in Newcastle become frustrated when the pubs are shut.
Minus 297: Microbial life starts to disappear. The cows on the Newcastle Town Moor complain of vets with cold hands.
Minus 460: All atomic motion stops. People in Newcastle start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands.
Minus 500: Hell freezes over. Sunderland qualify for Europe.
Im here to tell you that's pretty much all true, but as someone who used to go to watch Sunderland every week (footie!), even whilst supporting Chelsea even I take exception to that last remark. As if those Geordie tossers could do much better ;D
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Post by PokerKitten on Dec 24, 2003 13:07:42 GMT
I thought Az was in bed.... This is creepy!
Think of a letter between A and W. .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... Repeat it out loud as you scroll down. .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... Keep going . . . Don't stop . . .. .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... Think of an animal that begins with that letter. .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... Repeat it out loud as you scroll down. .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... Think of either a man's/woman's name that begins with the last letter in the animals name .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... Almost there........ .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... Now count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the hand you are not using to scroll down. .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... Take the hand you counted with and hold it out in front of you at face level . .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... Look at your palm very closely and notice the lines in your hand .......... .......... .......... Do the lines take the form of the first letter in the persons name?
....... .... ........ ...........
................... .......... .......... .......... .......... ..........
Of course they fuckin dont....... .......... .......... .......... .......... Now smack yourself in the head, get a life, and quit playing stupid
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Post by Cyrus on Dec 31, 2003 5:48:11 GMT
No Where but Texas *********************** Regarding the year 2000, a senior at UTPA was overheard saying, "If the end of the world comes, I hope to be in South Texas. Everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the civilized world!" *********************** The young rancher came running into the store and said to his buddy,"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, " Did you see who it was? The young rancher answered, I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." ************************ NEWS FLASH! - Austin, Texas----- West Texas worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150, piloted by two Texas A&M University students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in College Station. A &M Corps Member search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and co- pilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts. ************************* A Texas State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-30, near Texarkana. The trooper asked, "You got any ID?" The driver replied, "'Bout whut?" *********************** I found a print-out of an old email (dated November 09, 1998, so it’s kinda old) in my closet, and typed it up… and it's kind of long so I just made it into html and am posting a link. Wanna date my daughter, huh? Well, you better take note buster.
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Post by azazel on Jan 3, 2004 6:48:31 GMT
Saddams new job Priceless
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Post by azazel on Jan 3, 2004 6:49:43 GMT
A fishy story A man calls home to his wife and says, " Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several friends.
We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box?
We're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she does exactly what her husband asked.
The following week-end he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill and a few Pike.
But, why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?
{You'll love the answer}
The wife replies, "I did, they're in your tackle box."
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Post by azazel on Jan 4, 2004 7:15:53 GMT
www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30100-12964289,00.html If that doesnt work read it here Sex change tattoo! OP MAN NEEDLED BY TATTOO An unlucky patient went into surgery bearing the words "I love women" tattooed on his leg but when he came out it read "I love men". The unnamed man was in hospital for a heart-by-pass operation. But surgeons had to take out part of a large vein in his leg to replace a section of blocked artery in his chest. When they sewed up the leg wound, they removed the first two letters of the word "women", the Daily Mirror says. The patient says he has been left too embarassed to wear shorts in public. Leeds General Infirmary, where the operation was carried out, said: "Part of the tattoo was accidentally erased." The British Medical Journal later printed a picture of the tattoo, warning doctors to be careful when sewing up tattooed skin.
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Post by azazel on Jan 4, 2004 7:34:32 GMT
www.snopes.com/snopes.aspThis could prove intresting. It conatains stories that are passed around the net as truth, but turn out to be urban myths.
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Post by Cyrus on Jan 6, 2004 7:09:23 GMT
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Post by azazel on Jan 6, 2004 7:21:04 GMT
About right that, probably wearing a flat cap too Wonder what type of plants he bought Wow wonder if I have a universal joint and if so will that pop out too Yes right mate thats your story for been married to a mutt and you stick with it One for NN To everyone who doubts this mans story just go to any motoway (And probably Highway) and watch the inside lane. It always looks like is empty, but its not it is full with these invisible cars which is why all the other drivers have to stay in the middle lane and never move across. Also on occasion these invisible cars venture into the middle lane too just in front of the car in front of you which is the reason they have to suddenly slow down or brake.Its nothing to do with the driver in front of you been a moron its the invisible traffics fault. I am not been sarcastic at all (Honest )
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Post by Cyrus on Jan 6, 2004 7:24:26 GMT
Yeah there's some funny ones there... like the very last one: " In France, not very long ago, the forms used for notifying insurers of accident, illness, or pregnancy were based on the same mold. Consequently, expectant mothers were asked, "Was the accident caused by some third party?" Invariably, the answer was, "No, only by my husband." " "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him." <--- this is me LMAO
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Post by azazel on Jan 6, 2004 7:26:44 GMT
Yes it was a grudge baby, someone had it in for my husband
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Post by PokerKitten on Jan 7, 2004 23:25:06 GMT
Hey, I just felt like posting it... And I'm the boss!
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Post by PokerKitten on Jan 7, 2004 23:50:46 GMT
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